Some new jems

"I have a splinter in my vagina."  Um, really?  I think not.  She gets splinters in her hand regularly at the park.  We've not been naked in the park.

"Mommy, I'm making nipples, see!"  I arrive to see little marks all over the page.  "Bean, where are your nipples?"  She points to her face.  "Oh, you mean dimples!"